Am zis sa ies ca sa uit de probleme.
Ma simt mult mai bine cand sunt inconjurata de lume… Asa am fost dintotdeauna.. Ca si cum mi-as trage energia din ei. Dar parca sunt aici fizic nu si psihic.
O aud cum vorbeste , o aud pe fundal ca muzica in surdina a unui restaurant scump… O aud dar nu inteleg ce zice, ma uit la ea , vad ca vorbeste, dar nu o ascult. O aprob atunci cand vrea sa fie aprobata si critic persoanele ce vrea sa fie criticate dar o fac din reflex, ca si cum as fi programata sa fac asta…rad cu ea , plang cu ea dar gandul mi-e in alta parte… La probleme… La banii care nu ajung… La scoala careia simt ca nu-i fac fata, la prietenii care nu mai sunt langa mine… La TINE…
Ma gandesc cum ar fi sa fii aici langa mine, aici cu mine, sa ma strangi de mana cu subinteles atunci cand trebuie sa ma uit la ceva sau sa ma pupi cand vorbesc cu cineva… Poate atunci, avand linistea langa mine, as fi mai atenta la ei…
Mi-e dor de tine…
Nu a trecut nici o zi de atunci fara sa ma gandesc la tine…
PS: scuzati gramatica sunt inca aici cu ea.
I said to go out to forget about the problems.
I feel much better when i’m surrounded by people …I always was .. As if I would draw energy from them. But it’s like im there just physically not mentally too.
I hear her talking ,I hear soft music in the background as in an expensive restaurant … I can hear but not understand what she’s saying, I’m looking at her, I see that she talks, but I’m not listening.I approve her when she wants to be approved and criticize people who want to be criticized but I do that reflexively, as if I were scheduled to do that … laugh with her, cry with her, but I’m thinking somewhere else. .. Problems … Money that are not enough … At school , at friends who are no longer with me … At you …
Thinking what would be like if you were here with me,to squeeze my hand when I need to watch something or kiss me when I talk to someone … Maybe then, with you around me, I’d pay attention to them…
I miss you …
Not a single day has passed since then without thinking of you …
PS: Excuse my grammar I’m still here with her.